Give Your Sweetie a Lasting Gift!

Now that Valentine's Day has come and gone what steps can you take to make your sweetheart feel special all year? Why is it we put extra effort into just one day a year to celebrate our love with our significant other? Sadly, in today's society with busy schedules and life on-the-go, many couples gear up for this one big day, and neglect to celebrate their love continuously throughout the year.

One particular gift that will keep giving all year long is discovering each others "love language". Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" has helped tens of thousands of couples understand each others primary love language and the life changing transformations that take place when our "love tanks" are full. It brings couples to a whole new level of connection and intimacy when we are actually fulfilling each others deepest needs and desires. Many couples are surprised to find out what they 'think' their partner wants isn't really the case at all, as we tend to give our partner what we ourselves want.

Does the mention of "Date nights" and "Quality time" return a puzzled look? Why not start fresh this year with another gift, your time. FranklinCovey's theory states that if you have big rocks, small rocks and sand, and wish to fill up a jar with no overflow, the big rocks must be put in first, then the small rocks, then the sand. If you were to go out of order and put the sand and small rocks in first, then the big rocks would never fit. So it goes, with our daily lives and planning. The sand (menial tasks) and small rocks (small, non essentials) can be great time-robbers and leave no time for the big rocks (essentials/ relationships) unless the big rocks are planned for first.

This year resolve to plan for at least one day, afternoon or evening alone together each month. A mini Valentine's Day together so to speak. This doesn't require much expense, just a little creative planning. If children make it harder to plan time alone, then plan a 'date-in' after they go to bed! (Try a romantic Game-for-Two such as An Enchanting Evening or Simply Romantic Nights. For more engaging conversations try The Ungame for Couples, which can be played anywhere, including while dining (in or out) and even while driving!
By Understanding each others love language, making your relationship a 'Big' rock and scheduling time alone together, you'll be well on your way to connecting on a whole new level this year.

The resources mentioned above can be found at Melanie's website for couples, which encourages, communication, connection and intimacy: www.couples4life.com

Share Your Favorite Scripture for Couples

One of my favorite scriptures that helps to keep me grounded when life gets a little crazy comes from Ephesians 4:29:

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen".

We have all said things we regret or didn't mean to our significant other, our children and even our friends and it is so important to watch our tongue. We have posted this verse on our door leading into our home with our precious son's painted handprint to touch as a reminder to "leave our problems at the door with God" and not bring them in. This verse has helped us daily to really think before we speak and to build others up, not tear then down.

Fun/Creative Ways to Spend Time Together...

Read a 'Daily Devotional for Couples' together! My husband and I were given our very first Couples Devotional as a wedding gift. I never knew this type of daily reading for couples existed. We read our first one, "Pillowtalk for Couples" by Les & Leslie Parrott, which was a great starter devotional for us. Every night we would look forward to our time alone together to read a very short chapter, followed by a discussion question and a short prayer. These 10-15 minutes at night before bed has become our 'sacred time together' by helping us keep our communication flowing as well as continually learning new things about each others thoughts and beliefs. This has inspired us to purchase a collection of couples devotionals, as this is one of our favorite parts of our daily routine! Feel free to visit the link below for some great Couples Devotionals suggestions. http://www.couples4life.com/Books_Devotionals.htm

What are the Keys to a Successful Marriage/Relationship?

September 11, 2001 was a true turning point in the lives of many, especially here in our wonderful United States. It was this horrific tragedy that inspired me for some reason to start asking couples I'd meet who were very happy together, what the keys to success and longevity were. I've asked this question many times in the last 5 years and will share some of those answers in the coming days.

The very first post, however, I'm very proud to display, comes from a couple with 55 years of experience in marriage and that couple happens to be my parents!

"The first thing to realize is that marriage is always changing, not stagnant, and how you adjust to those changes and different chapters in your marriage is the key. Those initial 'in love' feelings in the beginning eventually give way and you cross into an even deeper level of love, friendship, security and trust. I've found in our marriage that basic respect, trust and definitely a sense-of-humor are the keys to the success of our marriage. We've raised 4 kids, and now as we grow older with health issues now popping up, we've begun to appreciate each other even more (if that's possible!) and take turns taking care of each other. I can't ask for more than that!" Jackie & Harold Colorado Springs, CO